Sunday, September 27, 2009

start of first novel: Failure

Is to fail to lose? No, to fail is to be given the opportunity to try again, to give up is to lose. Even the bravest men fear failure, as if a definite end were attached to it. To lose a battle, to lose a love, to lose victory, there is some amount of loss in all of these, but if failure meant to lose indefinitely, none would be strong enough to try again. I say to fail is to win; to win the opportunity to succeed, to triumph, to learn, to change. To lose is to give up. True bravery is found in the ability to stand up after a crushing defeat or to learn to live after choosing the easy way out. The bravest man is not the one who wins the most and thus never faces failure, but the one who fails the most and repeatedly tries again. True bravery, true valor, true fortitude and strength are found in those who have never won, but have never lost the will to try again. Only those who lose the will to carry on are those who truly fail, who truly are defeated. Brevity is measured by failures, not by victories.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

video dating

Tuesday I was watching this ridiculous dating video from 87 that was probably the funniest thing i've seen in a long time. Go and watch it now.

here it is...

Basically, I was so inspired that I decided to create my own dating video and started gaining some momentum by writing all of the one-liners I could think of in one sitting. I think they are real winners. I will be single no-mo babay!!! the ladies be flockin to meeeeeee....

here they are...

Life is like jungle and I am Tarzan. will you be my Jane?

Life is like a fish tank without other fish. Very lonely. Please, join me in my fish tank?

Hello, I am looking for a man... I mean, a woman. Really any woman, that is muscular, with well built calves, and while body hair isn’t a must, I wouldn’t mind something to grab a hold of, or braid.

Life is like the ocean. and I am like a lobster, the last lobster.

Life is like the ocean, and I am like a whale. I may be big, but I have a lot of lovin to give.

Imagine living your life feeling like everybody is afraid of you.

Life is like shark infested water, you never know if you’ll live until to take a risk and dive in. Well, I am Alex and I am looking for a certain someone, who will dive in with me.

I am not too picky, and am very flexible. for example I don’t like leg hair, if you have leg hair, I just... I just can’t handle it... no offense. however I wouldn’t mind lending a razor in the case that you do have leg hair.

To me, life is like a cage that I am stuck in. I am looking for someone to let me out of my cage. We could run, like wild horses, and make love like pigs.

I am looking for someone who is caring, doting, and compassionate. If you look at it this way, Life is like a race, and I started it with a broken leg. Will you heal me?

Hi my name is Alex, you have probably already noticed my muscular build and thick beard. If you like lumberjacks, then I am your man.

Hi my name is Alex. I am a student by day, and party animal by night.

Hi my name is Alex, I am looking for someone who likes to toboggan, go ice fishing and and go frozen tundra camping.

Hello, do you ever find yourself wondering, “Will I ever meet a real man”, well now you have.

Hello, I am a doctoral student studying the mating patterns of gerbils. I have quite a lot I could show you.

I’m looking for someone with a good sense of humor, who likes to have fun, and can joke around. its, this is important to me, because I have a truly wild sense of humor.

Thursday, September 10, 2009


I am perplexed by my place in acting. Being in the fundamentals of acting for theatre majors was kind of disheartening. I am glad that will be allowed to stay and learn, but to be learning with a highly focused group of students and with a teacher whose focus is to motivate and challenge future professionals is challenging my place as an actor at APU. I love acting. I love it. Everything about it. I want to learn more, I want to act more, I want to be challenged; but one thing that I cannot do, which was demanded by Jill, is attain total commitment to training. I just can't. Because of schedule and money, I am too far into the collegiate process to switch focuses. But oh how I love acting. My learning is limited, the amount that I will be taught is limited for Jill's focus is on theatre majors, while she is not cold enough to disinclude me, I am on the side burner-not a priority- a theater minor. I found myself questioning my major, questioning my reasons for being in the class. Sure I have passion, I have a hell of a lot of it. But I fell victim to the circumstances that limit me from interaction with the department. Oh woe is me. Not to say that I won't get a lot out of the the classes I am taking, but as to where I will go with them, that is the question. There is really crappy spanish worship music in the background. The sound of lower classmen giggling wildly about God knows what, who knows if they even really care about school. I am not bitter. I am perplexed. I am in an acting limbo. Limping my way through my college career with each limb dipped into different academic pools. A brain too immersed in learning, too interested in too diverse of fields, desiring complete commitment to each, cruely torn between passions. I lack the ability to determine what my future holds. Should I stay another two years to complete a BFA? Should I commit my life to acting, to pursue the technique, form and discipline of a professional? The passion is there, the innate yearning to improve is there; some would say that that is all that is necessary. I've heard it said that talent is simply courage, they are one in the same. I am courageous, but how courageous. Damn...