Friday, April 10, 2009


I didn't want to post this but I think transparency in this time in my life is very necessary

My dad was laid off of work yesterday by a coward and we might lose the house. I am taking it the hardest out of anybody in our family, though nobody knows it. Things have been going pretty crappy lately. By that I mean life has been normal but I have lost my grip on optimism for the moment. When I let small things get to me my emotions compound and swell and my judgement becomes impaired and I become bitter and angry. I’m trying to stop it before it gets to that point. My dad is a true inspiration. I know it hurts to be laid off for no good reason, especially when the past couple months have not been too easy, but my Dad is taking it in such stride, it’s amazing. I found an old pokemon card in the stuff I cleaned out from my room the other day. It was my favorite one, Venasaur, a hologram. I also found a fair pile of doodles and essays from high school and jr. high that are worth keeping. God is pretty good at beating you into the ground. First a chapter 11, now a chapter 7. He is doing some serious pruning of the family tree. It’s not my burden to bear though. God has a plan, the result will be more than we could have ever imagined. But God Damn it, we’ll be losing so many memories. I already feel disconnected from the house. The period of transition has started. He knows what He is doing though. Lord give me strength.


desiredshots PHOTOGRAPHY said...

i came up with a list of advice.
i thought of what ive done.

but if i were to type it, it would sound like it came from a mom, and like the things you already know.

so more than the list that i could rattle off to you-- i have love for you alex.

one degree or another.
it bothered me all day knowing that you arn't feeling quite perfect.

let me know what i can do to help.
anything at all.

desiredshots PHOTOGRAPHY said...,5232,23-1-1032-27,00.html

this is an amazing talk given just two weeks ago on the topic which you feel. i found comfort in it. you may too.