Thursday, February 26, 2009

Rant... please read.

Probably the worst and best thing that has ever happened to me is College. I know that I will look back and say, "I want to go back. If only I had taken my time to enjoy everything." I am a rash man. A very thoughtless and impulse driven man. I have discovered creation... Or rather creation has discovered me. I have always created. In small, simple ways and never in consistent or predictable patterns. But now I am overwhelmed with creation. I create and want to create all the time. Apocalypse has taken over me. I don't mean the end of _______ - the world or my life or anything like that, but I mean apocalypse in a way that pervades the reality that we [humans] have painted for ourselves. Life as we know it is not the way it is meant. It is not the way we were meant to live, to experience, to love, to breath, or die in. There is more out there. Every human being contains in them the ability to create and through that we are connected with the God who creates. I truly and deeply feel for those who either are not gifted [if that is at all possible] or who were subjected to a life where creation is not possible due to burdens or uncontrollable life scenario's but creation is the gateway to what life is truly like. To create, to make something new, unique [like each one of us] instead of repeating or copying or learning we are birthing a new thing. To live life only to create - "how unproductive, how unplanned, how mismanaged and undisciplined. How escapist and how irresponsible." How sad... We are twisting the world into a cycle of traditions and practices and forgot the freedom we have to use our hands minds and hearts to sculpt and breath life into something that did not already exist instead of beat into the ground the creations of other people; men and women before us or with us. How empty are we who take advantage of the beauty of creation and use it for our own mechanical desires.

How blessed am I to know people that create and inspire me to create. I am very very very blessed. A thousand times blessed. I will create. I will create and I will create to wipe away the fears and the aprehension that plagues me. I will do for my God and I will do it for who God made me to be because I am capable and I am impassioned and I am more than willing to create and create. Why oh why, and how oh how, are questions I have been trained to ask, and so I ask them. But I know I am not meant to think that way I meant to praise and give glory. I am meant to never worry or wonder. I am meant to know I am not meant to know all the time. I love all of you who create alongside with me. Desiree, Angela, Mitch, Dan, John, Stephen. We are brothers and sisters. Consider me converted from the ways of the world and the production-minded society of it.

4 comments:

desiredshots PHOTOGRAPHY said...

alex you are a wonderful and smart and unique and talented person.

i can tell even just from letters smushed together.


i feel you 100% and beyond on the topic at hand. i want to cry. and since im cranky and hungry, and momentarily hopeless, i just might. creating is the most precious gift that so many of us daily take for granted. amen to creating.

we are so blessed. if even to create ourselves.

Alex said...

maybe these will help desiree.

romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Colossians 1:5 The faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel

not to sound cheezy but hope is an action, and hope is found in Jesus Christ, so TAKE hope in that Jesus Christ offered everything that you need in this life and the next. Like Colossians says hope is found in the gospel and the grace and mercy that is offered there.

hopefully this points you to what hope can be even if your hopelessness was only momentary.

desiredshots PHOTOGRAPHY said...

take that last line and put it in your lyrics

desiredshots PHOTOGRAPHY said...

and yes.
you're so right.

when things get less than ideal.
where i feel a lack of strength and hope, i quickly realize how human i am.

humans are selfish. humans sin. humans are subject to the persuasian of satan.
we have been blessed to come to earth and have these trials, and the decison to choose good or evil. we are lucky to have been trusted that we would find our way back home. and how loving is our Father that he has prepared a way, through his Son, through His gospel, to return to Him. I do find hope in this. and i know that i can always rely and trust my Lord that he is ready to lift my burdens when they get to heavy for me, he will comfort me when i stand in need, and direct me with light when i seem to loose my way.

i cant imagine a life without knowledge of this hope. nothing brings me greater joy than to know that there is hope for my soul through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

faith and hope intersect and hold hands through out the scriptures. perhaps in this time i should be EXERCISING (action) more faith, and in so doing-feel and understand the hope of God's plan of salvation.

thank you again for your thoughts and friendship alex. you help me more than you know. im lucky to have such a friend.